


Hey Gorgeous

by castiel52



Series: Hartwin drabbles/short stories [6]
Category: Kingsman: The Secret Service (2015)
Genre: Alive Harry Hart, Established Relationship, Harry's a little woozy from the good drugs, M/M, i did a thing in reverse, i really did the thing guys, i seriously did the obligatory fic for that video that went viral, merlin and roxy had a cameo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-25
Updated: 2015-09-25
Packaged: 2018-04-23 08:05:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 741
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4869428
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/castiel52/pseuds/castiel52
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Anybody who thinks that Harry is naturally prim and proper is insane.<br/>Or...<br/>The possibly required story inspired by <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IqebEymqFS8">this </a></p>
            </blockquote>





	Hey Gorgeous

**Author's Note:**

> I did the more or less obligatory fic for that video. Sue me. I had to right because my life is scattered in a billion pieces right now and it's really hard sometimes and I can't even continue my ongoing fics because everything is just... Ugh! I can't. I just can't for now. Anyway. Onwards!
> 
> Again, this is not edited or betad. And please excuse my language, I'm not a Brit, I'm the farthest thing from Brit, alright?

Anybody who thinks that Harry is naturally prim and proper is _insane_. It’s a common misconception, honestly. Harry may be this posh bloke who always talks about manners and etiquette and other things that posh blokes talk about, but in reality, once Harry’s defences are down, he turns into something resembling a normal human being. Well, not really a _normal_ human being, but someone who doesn’t filter most of his words, probably, and someone who doesn’t use too many fancy words. But, no, really. It can be somewhat humbling to see Harry fucking Hart lower his defences.

 

Like right now.

 

“ _No_!” Harry sounds so surprised that Eggsy is having a _really_ hard time containing his laughter. But he knows he has to if he wants to show the video to Harry and not make him dizzy. Merlin is covering his own laughter by coughing-slash-choking while Roxy is now facing the wall, her forehead leaning on it as she shakes with silent laughter.

 

And, it really shouldn’t be funny, but it really, _really_ is and Eggsy knows Harry will get back at him at some point.

 

“ _Really?!_ ” Harry continues with a little squeak, which is a little cute, if Eggsy says so himself. The older man’s eyes are wide as he stares at Eggsy, as if he still can’t believe what he has been told and that everything is just a dream and he’ll probably wake up in a ditch somewhere with only these memories to tide him through. This man, really.

 

“ _We’re married?!_ ” And that little squeak Harry keeps on doing will forever be ingrained in Eggsy’s mind. “ _Wow!_ ” Harry breathes out then looks at the biscuit in his hand, as if he is just now realizing it’s there, then turns his attention back to Eggsy.

 

“You’re _beautiful!_ ” Harry gushes, and Eggsy can’t help but blush, embarrassed now at Harry’s praise, “Such a _gorgeous_ young man.” Eggsy can feel his face burning up even more, as if it’s actually possible.

 

“T-thanks.” Eggsy mutters, still holding his phone up to capture the moment.

 

“No. Really. I don’t think you know how gorgeous you are, darling.” Harry says, as if he’s a salesperson trying to convince a customer. He blinks slowly up at the younger man and continues, “Your eyes are simply astounding, I feel like I’m looking at the sky and a beautiful meadow at the same time.” And, really, how can Harry still be articulate? “And your lips, oh gosh, I want to kiss them.”

 

Eggsy thinks he hears Merlin snort, then mutter, “You’ve done _more than_ kiss them.” Which gets Roxy to snort as well, shaking even harder.

 

“And your _jaws_ ,” Harry continues in awe, “I just want to _lick_ them.” _Oh god_. Eggsy thinks as he practically chokes on his own spit, _can this be any more embarrassing?_

 

Roxy excuses herself, still shaking in laughter while he hears Merlin make an odd sound. “Can you turn around?” Harry asks then adds, as if suddenly remembering he has manners, “Please?” Eggsy raises his eyebrows in question, something Harry picks up on, so he continues, “I need to see your arse, please.”

 

“ _Harry!_ ” Eggsy squeaks.

 

“ _Oh my god!_ ” Roxy practically howls as she finally gets out of the room, her laughter echoing as she walks away. Merlin decides that he should excuse himself as well and follows the lady out, his coughs ringing in Eggsy’s ear as the young man makes an incomprehensible sound.

 

“I want to know how well your arse fits in my hands.” Harry continues without a hint of shame as he glances at said hands, then back at Eggsy, his face expectant.

 

“No!”

 

“Shame.” Harry pouts, and he looks so disappointed when he looks back at his biscuit. He then stares at it, as if he can’t figure out why it’s in his hand in the first place. He raises the biscuit towards the light, moves it slightly closer to his face and squints, then says, “What is this?”

 

“It’s a biscuit, Harry.”

 

“Hmmm.” Harry sniffs it, then pokes his tongue out to lick it. He nibbles the biscuit for a short while, Eggsy still recording everything because Harry looks like he’s contemplating on how to get out of a difficult situation as he nibbles on the biscuit. After a while, he turns back to Eggsy and says, “Why can’t I touch your arse?”

 

“ _Eat your fucking biscuit!_ ”

 

Eggsy’s just glad Roxy and Merlin have already left.

**Author's Note:**

> You can follow me on [Tumblr](http://babyunwinhart.tumblr.com/), guys. Just saying.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [You're All Sparkly and Pretty](https://archiveofourown.org/works/6928885) by [ems_specter](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ems_specter/pseuds/ems_specter)




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